Book People Archive

AB: HUMOR: Bookish Behaviour

Found this one on Abigails-l...................alas, her recollection jibes
with mine...;> 

Subj:   AB: HUMOR: Bookish Behaviour

ok, so this doesn't have to do with women & feminism per se.  but if you are
like me & have gone into football sized bookstores in search of edith wharton,
simone de beauvoir, simone weil, etty hillesum, audre lorde etc, you have run
into a situation like this.

all the more reason to support your local independent bookstore!

*****

Author: unknown
 
  Has anyone noticed that when these ubersturmbandgruppen bookshops open up
  they all have incredible stocks that get replaced by forty thousand square
  feet of Danielle steel and HTML FOR DUMMIES books inside of three months?
  It's amazing.
 
  And there's that great bookstore-litfreak-i-love-my-job staff they have.
 
  "Hi. I'm looking for a copy of De Tocqueville's 'Democracy in America'."
 
  "I don't think we carry that."
 
  "What? It's De Tocqueville! Why wouldn't you have it?"
 
  "Oh. I thought that was the title. Who's the author?"
 
  "Alexis De Tocqueville."
 
  "I don't think we have any of her stuff."
 
  "Him."
 
  "Hmmm?"
 
  "Yes."
 
  "What?"
 
  "He's not a her. He's a him."
 
  "OH. Okay. Do you know when it was supposed to be released?"
 
  "1840."
 
  "Oh. Maybe it's in the remainder pile."
 
  "Look. Can you just check the computer?"
 
  "Well, I'm sure we don't have it."
 
  "Please?"
 
  "Ok. Sure. What was the author's name again?"
 
  "De Tocqueville."
 
  "Do you know what the 'D' stands for?"
 
  "Of."
 
  "What?"
 
  "Alexis De Tocqueville. French. 'D E.' De."
 
  "Ohhhh."
 
  "Yeah."
 
  "Okay. Let me check."
 
  "Thank you."
 
  "Ohhh."
 
  "Yes?"
 
  "We have two copies."
 
  "Great! Where?"
 
  "History."
 
  "......."
 
  "Is there a problem?"
 
  "I've been to history."
 
  "And it wasn't there?"
 
  "No."
 
  "Are you sure?"
 
  "Yes."
 
  "Do you want to go look again?"
 
  "No."
 
  "Well, will you wait here?"
 
  "OH YES!"
 
  <twenty minutes later
 
  "I couldn't find it in history."
 
  "Really?"
 
  "Yes, but you might want to go look over in current events."
 
  "CURRENT EVENTS?"
 
  "Well sometimes things get filed there."
 
  "Things? You mean like cookbooks? ALGEBRA MANUALS? _BIOGRAPHIES OF THE
  STARS_?"
 
  "Are you alright?"
 
  "Yes. You are the only bookstore within a half hour of here. I did
  something bad in past life."
 
  "Yes?"
 
  "Never mind. Look. I've checked current events. That's where I picked up
  this copy of 'Generation of Swine'. Since it's right next to history, I
  thought I'd look there too."
 
  "Oh. Then I guess we don't have it."
 
  "Right. Of course. Would some intelligent employee have tucked it into
  the travel section?"
 
  "Oh no. Not a book on democracy."
 
  "So where would it be?"
 
  "It might be with the biographies."
 
  "You killed the biography section a year and a half ago."
 
  "We still have new biographies."
 
  "And you think that a mid 19th century frenchman's essays about america
  will be in with Tipper Gore's life story."
 
  "Well, those are pretty similar. They have politics and all."
 
  "Yes. Look. That thingamabob that tells you what the stock is. Does it
  tell you that you have a copy of 'Democracy in America'?"
 
  "Hold on. 'Democracy in America.' Yes. Two copies."
 
  "Does it tell you what edition?"
 
  "'Democracy in America'.... Nope. No editon."
 
  "Would it be a special edition kept someplace else?"
 
  "Well have you checked the remainder pile?"
 
  "Yes."
 
  "You did?"
 
  "Yes. When you went walkabout. That's when I got this Tony Hillerman book."
 
  "Oh. Is that a politcal book too?"
 
  "No."
 
  "No?"
 
  "No."
 
  "What do you like to read?"
 
  "English. But I dabble in ancient greek."
 
  "Oh? You're an english major?"
 
  "No. I'm a hacker."
 
  "Well, we have other books on democracy. Since you're into copmuters you
  might like '24 hours in cybrespace'."
 
  "Is it written by a 150 year old frenchman?"
 
  "Hahahaha."
 
  "Can you ORDER De Tocqueville?"
 
  "Well, my manager won't let me order something if it's in stock."
 
  "On the metaphysical scale ranging from 'out of stock' to 'in stock',
  where (may I ask?) does 'Democracy in America' weigh in?"
 
  "what?"
 
  "IS THIS BOOK IN STOCK OR NOT?"
 
  "Don't shout. It's in stock. The computer says we have two copies."
 
  "I'm. Not. Shouting. Where. Are. These. Two. Copies?"
 
  "They should be in the history section."
 
  "So it's in stock so I can't order it, but noone knows where the two
  copies are so I can't buy it."
 
  "Well I can put your name on a list."
 
  "What list?"
 
  "A waiting list?"
 
  "For De Tocqueville?"
 
  "You'll be the only one on it."
 
  "Really?"
 
  "Yes."
 
  "How long will I be waiting?"
 
  "Oh, we'l lcall you as soon as we find it."
 
  "Ah. Blizzards and iceboats then."
 
  "What?"
 
  "Nothing. Never mind DeTocqueville. I have a sudden urge for theology.
  Where can I get some?"
 
  "The philosophy area is over next to culture."
 
  "Theo.... never mind. Over there?"
 
  "Yes."
 
  "Thank you for your help."
 
  "Sure."
 
 
 
  And can you guess what was sitting to the right of Thomas Aquinas?