The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living : A Loving Look at the Lighter Side of Catholic Faith, with Recipes for Feast and Fun.

Intro -- Copyright -- Contents -- Pope John Paul II (1920-2005): A Tribute to His Humor -- Introduction by Pope Alexander VI -- Acknowledgments and Dedication -- January -- The Holy Name of Jesus Fish -- RECIPE: Jasmine-Scented Tilapia -- Elizabeth Ann Seton (1774-1821): Shush . . . Don't Attract God's Attention -- John Neumann (1811-1860): Not Just President of the Relic Club-He's a Member -- Epiphany and Carnival: The Work Ethic Be Damned -- RECIPES: Smothered Squirrel, King Cake, Sazeracs -- Marguerite Bourgeous (1620-1700): Be Careful What You Wish For -- Sacramental Executive Summary #1: Baptism -- RECIPE: Pesto with Gnocchi -- February -- Brigid of Ireland (453-523): A Nun Gets a Makeover -- The Purification of Mary and Presentation of Jesus: Holy Groundhogs! -- Agatha: A Feast of Breasts -- RECIPES: St. Agatha Popovers, Minni di Virgini -- Bonus Saint: Pius IX (1792-1878): Just Say "Nono." -- Clare of Rimini (1282-1346): Bite Your Tongue -- Julian the Hospitaller (Dates Unknown): Fiddlers, Murderers, and Circus Clowns -- Valentine: If It Feels Good . . . Stop It! -- March -- Cunegundes (+1040): A Holy Hot-Foot -- Katherine Drexel: What You Get for Pestering the Pope -- Frances of Rome (1384-1440): Exorcise that Gremlin! -- John Ogilvie (1579-1615): Death before Haggis -- Serafina (+1253): Bring Yapping Dogs to the Housebound -- Patrick: Bobbing for Potatoes -- RECIPES: Salt Roasted Shrimp in the Shells, Apple Oatmeal Crumble -- Joseph: He Couldn't Get No Respect -- RECIPE: St. Joseph's Day Fava Beans -- Sibyllina Biscossi (1287-1367): Patroness of Church Ladies -- The Annunciation: Salvation is from a J.A.P. -- A Bowl of Mary, with Virgin Oil -- RECIPE: Virgin Petal Salad -- Season of Lent -- Shrove Tuesday: Pancakes and Proxy Penance -- RECIPES: Crepes with Strawberries in Orange Sauce, Blueberry Pomegranate Sauce.

Ash Wednesday: Catholic Mating Identification Day -- Top Ten Catholic Pick-Up Lines -- RECIPE: "Here's My Number, I Think You're Kind of Hot'' Cross Buns -- Not Particularly Penitential Recipes for Lent -- RECIPES: Mussels in White Wine, Spinach with Raisins and Pine Nuts, Potatoes Aoli, Shrimp in Garlic Sauce, Manchego Cheese and Quince Paste, Cuban Style Black Bean and Rice Soup, Soft Olive Oil Bread, Provençal Bouillabaisse -- April -- Isidore of Seville (560-636): Urban Legendary -- Lidwina of Schiedam (1380-1433): Let's Go Skating, Kids! -- Bernadette of Lourdes (1844-1879): Kitsch and Miracles -- Expeditus (dates unknown): Saint Overnight of Delivery -- Agnes of Montepulciano (1268-1317): The Flying Nun -- Bonus Saint: John Payne (1574-1582): So Long and Thanks for the Martyrs -- Catherine of Siena (1347-1380): Grabbing the Pope by the Collar -- Holy Week and Easter -- Holy Thursday: Sangria in the Streets -- RECIPE: Holy Thursday Sangria -- Good Friday: No Laughing, No Talking, No Showing Your Teeth -- Jesus's Reproaches from the Cross -- Celebrate the Resurrection: Roasting the Easter Bunny -- RECIPES: Tangy Plum Soup, Beet Salad, Eggplant Salad, Spring Potato Salad, Resurrection Cheese Cake, Cheese Pascha, Easter Bunny Fricassee -- Sacramental Executive Summary #2: The Eucharist -- RECIPE: Baby Jesus Cookies -- May -- Filling the May Hole -- Athanasius (295-373): But Don't Quote Him on That . . . -- The Feast of the Holy Shroud: Property of J. Arimathea Funeral Home, Inc.-Do Not Remove -- Damien of Molokai (1840-1889): Father Damien and Mr. Hyde -- RECIPE: Pineapple and Torrontes Compote -- Ascension Thursday: Did Christ Fly Standby? -- Fatima: Our Lady in the Sky with Diamonds -- Dymphna (dates unknown): A Halfway House Party -- RECIPES: Shrimp in Crazy Water, Lunatic Cookies, Coco-"Nut'' Sorbet.

Simon Stock (1165-1265): Eternal Life Insurance -- Madron (+540): The Saint of Lost Socks -- Simeon Stylites the Younger (521-597): A Treehouse for Dad -- Martyrs of Mexico (+1926): Trash for the Temple -- June -- Kevin (498-618): Milking the Wolf -- Boniface (680-754): St. Paul Bunyan -- Onuphrius (+440): Hermits at Houlihan's -- Anthony of Padua (1195-1231): The Celestial Lost and Found -- Cyriacus of Iconium (+304): Baby Got Boar -- RECIPE: Roast Pork -- Sacramental Executive Summary #3: Confession -- Hypatius (+450): Boycott the Olympics -- Juliana Falconieri (1270-1341): Little Miss Perfect -- RECIPE: Nun's Farts -- The Birth of John the Baptist: Charging Bulls and Naked Sambas -- RECIPE: Red Wine Tapioca Pudding -- The Feast of Pentecost: Flaming Punch and Speaking in Tongues -- RECIPES: Flaming Spinach Salad, Saganaki (Greek Flaming Cheese) -- July -- Independence Day: Dress Your Kids as Kennedys -- Benedict of Nursia (480-547): Enjoy a Dominican with Your Benedictine -- Bastille Day: Vive le Roi! -- RECIPES: Bay Scallops with Cherry Tomatoes, Cheesecake with Chèvre and Nectarines -- Margaret of Antioch (fourth century) and Wilgefortis (dates unknown): The Dragon Lady and the Bearded Nun -- Mary Magdalene (first century): Toot-toot, hey, beep-beep! -- Christina of Bolsena (+250), Christina of Tyre (dates unknown), and Christina the Astonishing (1150-1224): The Terminator Saints -- Sacramental Executive Summary #4: Confirmation -- Anne (first century): God's Grandma, the Yenta -- August -- Jean Baptiste Marie Vianney (1786-1859): The Penance Express -- The Transfiguration: Trinkets on Mt. Tabor -- Dominic (1170-1221): Hound of Heaven -- RECIPE: Quatres Mendiants -- Lawrence (+258): Sanctity, Slow-Cooked -- Feast of the Assumption: The Vatican Space Program -- RECIPES: Yiouvetsi Lamb with Orzo Pasta, Simnel Cake.

Sarah (Old Testament): The Power of Laughter -- Rose of Lima (1586-1617) and Ebbe the Abbess (+879): Eternal Makeovers -- Genesius (+286): Roman Snuff -- Monica (322-387) and Phanourios (dates unknown): Saintly Spam -- RECIPE: St. Phanourios Bread (Phanouropita) -- Raymond Nonnatus (1204-1240): Seen but Not Heard -- Sacramental Executive Summary #5: Matrimony -- September -- Giles (eighth century): Gather the Rams -- Marinus (fifth century): The Saint of Restraining Orders -- Magnus of Füssen (700-750): Bear-Claws for the Bears' Claws -- RECIPE: German Honey-Cakes for Bears -- Exaltation of the Holy Cross: Sacred Splinters -- Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179): Polyphony for Bikers -- Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663): The Flying Piñata -- Gennaro (+305): Take His Head to the Volcano -- Andrew Kim Taegon (+1846): Of Martyrs and Rotting Cabbage -- Martyrs of the Spanish Civil War (1936): Homage to Valencia -- RECIPE: Arroz Negre -- Padre Pio (1887-1968): Warning-Soul Reader! -- Vincent de Paul (1580-1660): "Godfather of the Soul'' -- Bernardine of Feltre (1439-1494): Holy Pawnshop! -- The Holy Archangels: Flying Two-Year Olds -- RECIPE: Devil's Food Cake -- October -- Therese of Lisieux (1873-1897): Carmel-Covered Corn -- The Guardian Angels: Avon Calling! -- Francis of Assisi (1181-1226): Flogging "Brother Ass'' -- Bartholomew Longo (1841-1926): Highway to Hell -- Lepanto Bowl Upset: "Hail Mary'' Helps BVM Pulverize Saracens 72-6 -- Kenny (Canice) (515-600): Sacred Pest Control -- Bertrand of Comminges (+1123): Imposing Celibacy on the French -- North American Martyrs (+1642-1649): Typhoid Mary and Jesus -- RECIPE: Warm Indian Pudding with Ice Cream -- Sacramental Executive Summary #6: Holy Orders -- Karl I of Austria (1887-1922): Vote Habsburg! -- Bonus Saint: Ursula (dates unknown): The Saint of Slasher Movies.

John of Capistrano (1386-1456): Homeland Security -- British Martyrs (1535-1679): Atrocities? We've Got Atrocities. . . . -- Jude (first century): A Saint for Your Brother-in-Law -- All Hallows' Eve: The Seven Deadly Courses -- RECIPES: Flaming Purgatory Punch, Stuffed Dates -- Bonus Celebration: Sell Indulgences -- November -- All Saints' Day: Tomb of the Unknown Saint -- The Feast of All Souls: A Black-Letter Day -- Sacramental Executive Summary #7 Sacrament of the Sick -- RECIPE: Lengthy Wake Rice Krispies Treats -- Hubert (656-728): Bring Out Your Beagles -- Bonus Saint: Martin de Porres (1579-1639): A Friend to Vermin -- Guy Fawkes Day: Go Out with a Bang -- Viennese Carnival: Pretzel Crowns and Explosives -- RECIPE: Fastnachts -- Bonus Saint: Martin of Tours (316-397): Goose-Strangling in the Suburbs -- RECIPE: Garlic Soup -- Livinus (+633): Speaking in Tongue -- Cecilia (+117): Cleaning Out the Choir Stalls -- Thanksgiving: Thank God for Mediocrity -- The First Sunday of Advent: Scrooge You -- December -- Francis Xavier (1506-1552): A Piece of the Saint -- Barbara (+235): Death from Above! -- Nicholas (+346): Kids in a Barrel -- Feast of the Immaculate Conception: The Addams Family Chapel -- RECIPE: Dead Men's Bones -- Our Lady of Guadalupe (1531): Bleeding Hearts, Liberated -- RECIPE: Aztec Truffle Fondue -- Lucy of Syracuse (+269): Blind Man's Buffet -- John of the Cross (1542-1591): The Saint of OCD -- Adam and Eve: Schmucks! -- The Twelve Days of Christmas: One Fibber Fibbing -- The Nativity: Christmas on the West Bank -- RECIPES: Feta Cheese Cigarettes, Chicken with Apricots -- The Circumcision of Christ (Vigil): No Skin Off His Nose -- About the Authors -- Back Cover.

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Electronic reproduction. Ann Arbor, Michigan : ProQuest Ebook Central, 2021. Available via World Wide Web. Access may be limited to ProQuest Ebook Central affiliated libraries.